Friday, December 17, 2010

Twas the Week Before Christmas

I'm just not ready.

For any of it.

The mirror worlds are filling my life today:

kids away / kids home
the need to shop for Christmas / the need to pack to fly to Zimbabwe
a thank you note to a book club in Calgary / Christmas cards not yet sent
the coming to the end of good work done / the worry of not being able to make it right
the squeamish girl getting needles for thyphoid / the squeamish girl contemplating the possibility of the death of the first of her mother's sisters.
the anniversary of my father's death on Sunday  / one year since the death of my dad.
I am the little girl who loved her daddy. And I love my Aunt Pauline. And I loved my mom. And my brother. Ouch. So much death.

And I love my children who are very much alive and arriving or about to arrive home - the "family assemblage" as one of them emailed me today.  I am only now booking his flight home.  There are no Christmas lights on my house yet.  I'm am not doing what I should when I should be doing it.

Thank God I have finally found my passport but I can't find my suitcases.  I'm leaving on January 9th or 10th, I can't remember.

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